The secret to happiness

My wife: the best in the world

Ladies, I don't mean to put you down. Gentlemen, I don't want to make you envious. But: “Thank you, God, for giving me the best wife in the world.”

Many men might think their wives are the best. They are mistaken. My wife does it all. She is the beautiful, smart-as-a-whip CEO of the Brooks household. She is a self-taught gourmet chef (just ask my poor former co-workers, who had to endure the tantalizing smells of her dishes emanating from the office microwave while munching on fast food), a fastidious housekeeper, a mathematical whiz and precise bookkeeper. She pays all the bills, does all the shopping. All I have to do is give her my paycheck and relax.

She loves to shop, but she is very frugal. She can shop for hours without spending a dime. She knows the price of everything. She is always on the prowl for bargains, and never buys anything that is not on sale. A typical purchase for her is a $28 shirt for $1.98. When in the grocery store loading the basket, she keeps a running tab in her head. At checkout, she can tell you within a few pennies what the total will be. More often than not, she has to correct checkout clerks.

She has an amazing memory and a facility for handling details. Here's just one example: While she was on a trip home to Indonesia to visit her mother, brothers and sisters, I phoned and asked her a question about the household finances. She reminded me of a phone call I forgot to make. Here she was, on the other side of the world, worrying about her sick mother - and she knew more about what was going on in our household than I did. Well, as my teasing son said, “Maybe that's more a function of your own absent-mindedness.”

My son blames me for making it hard for him and his brother to find mates. They keep looking for wives comparable to mine, and of course, there aren't any.

She is always thinking about taking care of us.

My wife goes to visit her family in Indonesia periodically, and she always cooks a freezer full of food for me before she goes. I can tell it's time for her to return home when the freezer starts getting empty. It is not unusual for me to open the last dish on the day I go to the airport to pick her up.

Packing for a trip to the other side of the world is a large undertaking, but she has become proficient at it. Of course she always finds the best airfares beforehand. On one occasion that was more hectic than others, she completed her packing, and knowing that I was going to to visit my parents the following weekend, she found time to pack my bag.

Once we took a cruise to Mexico. For weeks before the cruise, I kept reminding myself to get my passport from the desk drawer when the time came. Driving up to the cruise ship dock in New Orleans, I suddenly had a sinking feeling, but it lasted only briefly. “I bet you remembered to pack my passport,” I told my wife, confident of her answer. “Yes,” she said, with a wry smile, “I was wondering when you would think of it.” I'm lucky. I was smart one time in my life -- when I married my wife. Now I don't have to be smart any more. I can just put my brain on cruise control.

She is a wonderful mother. She raised two fine young men. She still worries about them, although both are now grown, and sees to their every need. After her father died, her mother stayed with us for three years. Lie Shia cared for her every minute of the day. Lie Shia is the glue that keeps our household together. She excels in every aspect of daughterhood, motherhood and wifedom. When she was a little girl playing with her friends, they all talked about their various dreams and career ambitions. Lie Shia's greatest desire was to be a homemaker. You think her dream was too small? I disagree: Our cohesiveness and well-being as a nation depends on homemakers like her. To say she succeeded in fulfilling her dream is like saying Babe Ruth was a pretty fair baseball player.

OK guys, I'll let you in on a secret: Do you want to have the best wife in the world? Tell her she is. Do you want to be crazy, mushy in love with your wife? Tell her you are. Often. You still won't have the best wife in the world, because – you know -- I do. But at least you will convince yourself, and her, and that's all it takes to make you happy.

By the way -- this works for wives, too.

End America's longest-running war

 Now that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are winding down, I wonder about the prospects for ending America's longest-running war.

You didn't know we were engaged in a longer war than Afghanistan?

It's called The War on Poverty.

What is the exit strategy for this war?

What will peace look like?

Trillions of innocent American dollars have been lost fighting this fruitless war. Four decades after the war was initiated by Lyndon B. Johnson, nearly half of U.S. citizens are reported “in poverty.” The quote marks are there, because there seems to be little agreement on what constitutes poverty in the U.S. today.

Not only has the war on poverty not helped people get out of poverty, it seems to have trapped those in poverty to remain in poverty, and sucked more people into poverty. How can this be, you ask?

Government welfare programs stifle individual incentive and reward sloth. Why would anyone look for work, when you can “earn” almost as much by staying at home? Not coincidentally, subsidies to unwed mothers have been accompanied by an increase in illegitimacy and a breakup of the American family. An unwed mom of 15 became a hot YouTube segment when she demanded that “Somebody needs to pay for all my children. Somebody needs to be held accountable, and they need to pay.” Apparently, she didn't think that she or the three fathers of her 15 children should be expected to bear any of the responsibility. She blamed the social service agencies that are trying to help her.

Moreover, a sociology study at the University of Pennsylvania showed that single mothers routinely spent more than their reported incomes and did not sacrifice luxuries such as cable TV, eating out or buying expensive sneakers.

“Poverty” in America looks quite different from poverty in other countries. Low-income households in the U.S. tend to own more appliances and larger houses than many middle-income Europeans. A poverty expert wrote in 2011 that the majority of those deemed to be below the poverty level have adequate food, shelter, clothing and medical care.

If the victims of poverty in the U.S. have air conditioning, cable TV, furniture, appliances and expensive sneakers, maybe we should just declare victory in the war on poverty, and pull out. The federal government needs to withdraw and turn the fight over to the local troops: neighbors, churches and local charities, who have been fighting poverty for much longer and doing it much more efficiently.

Local entities have a better grip on the needs of their own community, and they can help those truly in need without making them lose their dignity or sense of self worth. It is axiomatic, that people come to resent charity that demands no responsibility. Conversely, recipients of welfare tend to pull themselves out of poverty and have a higher sense of self worth when they are required to work for what they receive. I know of a local home for recovering drug and alcohol addicts that is a prime example. The men in this home have to live by strict rules and perform duties at the home, or they have to leave.

Charity is one of the many things that government does badly – very badly. Stop the federal government's War on Poverty. Bring the troops home where they can do more good for those who need it most.

Let them have nukes

What right do we have to say what countries may, and what countries may not have nuclear weapons?

The United States, Russia, Britain, France, China, India and Pakistan have nuclear weapons. Israel probably has them too.

I am not tickled with the idea of North Korea or Iran acquiring the bomb. But they are sovereign nations. How would we like it, if Russia tried to dictate to us what weapons we could produce, and how many? How would we like it, if Chinese troops were stationed in Mexico?

The U.S. and most of the western world are straining every effort to prevent Iran and North Korea from getting nuclear weapons. Hardly any politician, with the notable exception of Ron Paul, has even hinted that we may be wasting our time or perhaps even making the situation worse.

I know. I know: Iran and North Korea are run by people of questionable judgment and stability. But is treating them like children likely to improve their behavior?

Pakistan has the bomb. How stable is Pakistan? How many of their leaders have been assassinated? How many Pakistani Muslim schools preach hatred for the U.S.? Osama bin Laden was “hiding” right under the noses of Pakistan's military. Yet Pakistan can have the bomb and Iran can't?

We can't turn back the clock or put the evil genie back in the bottle. It is hopeless to try and stop the proliferation of nuclear weapons.

What do children do when you tell them, “No, you can't have that.”? They cry and kick and scream; exactly what North Korea and Iran are doing. And they become even more determined to have the forbidden fruit.

I know it's difficult – but try to step back and view it from their perspective. Like it or not, the U.S. is perceived by many countries as the aggressor in Iraq and Afghanistan. And they note two important facts: The U.S. is the only country that has used nuclear bombs in anger, and has never invaded a country that has nuclear weapons.

Nuclear weapons are different from conventional weapons in the degree of devastation, but that does not justify a preemptive strike. How can you justify saying, “We bombed them first, because we thought they were about to bomb us.”?

Most will argue that the threat of mutually assured destruction that ruled the Cold War with Russia carries no weight with radical Muslims anxious to commit suicide. I don't buy it. The mullahs may be able to persuade brainwashed radicals to blow themselves up for Allah, but the leaders don't seem to be that anxious to meet 72 virgins. That brave jihadist general, Osama bin Laden, had to be tracked down and offed in his lair.

We should tell Iran and North Korea, and indeed any nation, “Sure, go ahead and make all the nuclear weapons you want. We will not initiate an attack on you.” But in secret diplomacy, we should tell them, in a similar way that the Godfather warned assembled Mafiosos not to harm his son: “If a nuclear weapon goes off anywhere in the world, you had better hope that no evidence points to you as the source. If a lone terrorist steals a bomb and detonates it, you'd better pray it was not one of yours. If so, you may kiss your country goodbye.”

In the short run, mutually assured destruction is the most viable path to peace. In the long run, a vigorous anti-missile shield and constant vigilance to block smuggling of “suitcase” bombs will be essential second and third lines of defense against the nuclear nightmare.

What's religion got to do with it?

It's that time of year.

Every year at this time, I enjoy sitting around a warm TV getting into the holiday spirit. The familiar tunes and themes fill my heart with an indescribable glow of well-being, like so many sugar plums dancing.

What I don't understand is why so many people have a problem with Christmas. Over the past few years, schools, cities and even retail stores seem to feel uncomfortable saying “Merry Christmas.”

I don't get it. Don't they like Santa Claus? Does he present a bad image for attempts to curb obesity? Are a few cookies and low-fat milk really all that bad?

What have they got against Rudolph? Is it because he's a Santa enabler? Is there something wrong with red noses? That seems a bit intolerant, especially for the politically correct diversity crowd.

Is it the gang that Santa and Rudolph hang out with? – Frosty the Snowman? Jack Frost? The Miser Brothers? The Abominable?

What's wrong with jingling bells? One-horse open sleighs? Pumpkin pies and coffee? Popping chestnuts? Is there something politically incorrect about snow falling and people calling “yoohoo?”

Maybe some people don't like sitting around the fire while it's up to your knees out there. Do they think cuddling under the mistletoe will necessarily lead to an increase in teen pregnancies?

Maybe Christmas critics don't like the endless retelling and rewriting of the Scrooge experience. Can't figure that, because New Agers are often into ghost stories and other metaphysical forces – just look at the success of Jennifer Love Hewitt's “Ghost Whisperer.” Maybe they think if more individuals are encouraged to be charitable, it will diminish enthusiasm for governmental largess.

I suppose I could see where some Grinch groups might be chilled at the thought of Christmas coming. Gun control advocates, for example, can't be happy about Ralphie's infatuation with a Red Ryder BB gun in “The Christmas Story.” And PETA is bound to frown at the thought of millions of turkeys being savagely gnawed.

I can also understand why some in the Occupy Wall Street crowd would object to the crass capitalism promoted by retail outlets at this special time of year. That just benefits the one percent.

But, other than that, I can't think why any reasonable person would object to Christmas. Wait – my wife just told me that some religious as well as anti-religious entities such as the ACLU might say there's too much religious symbolism associated with Christmas. Now that's something I just don't see. Am I missing something? What's Christmas got to do with religion?